Name:
Date:
Mentor:
How to use this worksheet. Asking for help is a skill, not a personality trait — which means it can be practiced. This sheet walks through working out what you actually need before you ask, so the asking gets easier.
PART 1
Why This Is Hard
Read this together. Nothing to fill in.
Common reasons people do not ask
- It feels like admitting you cannot do it.
- You are not sure who the right person is.
- You do not know how to describe the problem, so you say nothing.
- You asked once, it went badly, and you decided not to again.
Key idea: Not asking is also a decision — and usually a more expensive one than asking.
PART 2
Naming the Problem
Before you can ask well, you have to know what you are asking about.
1.What is the thing I am stuck on? (Be as specific as you can.)
2.What have I already tried?
3.What exactly do I need — information, a decision, a person to do something, or just someone to think it through with?
Clarify — “I need help with my schedule” is hard to answer. “I do not know whether I am allowed to change my Tuesday shift” is easy to answer. Push your description until someone could act on it.
PART 3
Choosing Who to Ask
The right person is the one who can actually change the thing.
4.Who has the power or the information to help with this?
5.Is there someone easier to ask first — and would asking them actually get it solved?
6.When is a good moment to ask that person?
Clarify — There is a difference between the easiest person to ask and the person who can fix it. Asking the easy person can be a useful first step, but notice if you are doing it to avoid the real conversation.
PART 4
What I Will Actually Say
Write it out. Reading your own words back is how you find the sentence that is hard to say.
7.My opening sentence:
8.The one thing I most need them to understand:
9.What I will do if the answer is no:
Clarify — Plan for a no. Not because it is likely, but because having an answer ready removes most of the fear — the worst case stops being unknown.
PART 5
Afterwards
Fill this in after you have asked.
10.What happened?
11.Was it easier or harder than I expected? Why?
12.One thing I would do the same way next time:
Clarify — Look for the gap between what you feared and what happened. Over a few of these, that gap is the evidence that makes the next ask cheaper.
💡 Tips for You: Asking Is a Skill, Not a Weakness
- Name the thing, not the feeling. “I do not understand step three” gets help faster than “I am stuck.”
- Ask the person who can change it. Sympathy and authority are not the same. Work out who can actually fix the problem.
- A no is information, not the end. Ask what would need to be different, or who else you could ask.
Reflection
What makes asking hard for you — finding the words, the person, or how it might feel afterwards? Who is one person you find easy to ask, and what makes them easy? What is one thing you will ask for this week?
— End of Worksheet —
Bring this to your next session and talk it through.
FOR MENTOR USE — STUDY THIS TOGETHER
Mentor Guide
How to run this worksheet, use the hints, and review it together
1. What this builds
Self-advocacy, broken into the steps it actually has: describing a problem precisely enough to be actionable, identifying who holds the power to solve it, rehearsing the words, and planning for a refusal. Students who “won't ask for help” are usually stuck at one specific step, and this sheet shows which.
2. Running it
- Read the part headings aloud together before the student starts. Knowing the shape of the sheet lowers the cost of starting.
- There are no wrong answers on the fill-in lines — this is the student's own thinking, not a test.
- Every working part has a Clarify hint. The student should try the part first and read the hint only if stuck. It gives a strategy, never words to copy.
- If a line stays blank, that is information. Ask what made it hard rather than filling it in for them.
3. What to watch for
- Part 2 answers that stay vague. Keep pushing — the specificity is the skill, and a vague ask is the most common reason help does not arrive.
- Part 3 revealing that the student does not know who is responsible for what. That is a program gap worth fixing, not a student failing.
- Part 4's “what if the answer is no” often surfaces the real fear. Sit with that answer rather than moving past it.
- Part 5 is the one that changes behavior. If a student completes an ask and records that it went better than feared, name that out loud — it is the evidence they will draw on next time.
4. Reviewing it
Review with the student, not by marking the page. Ask them to read one answer aloud and say why they wrote it — the reason matters more than the wording.
Finish by agreeing one specific thing to try before the next session. Write it on the last line so it is not lost.